Tag Archives: caregiver

Tradeoff

We all have them. Sometimes it doesn’t even mean the outcome will be better. I would tradeoff work, to be home taking care of what is most important to me. At work, though I am compensated well, I gain absolutely no satisfaction. In fact, I don’t feel it matters if I am there or not. That is a sad way to spend 37.5 hours a week at the place where I make a decent living wage. My tradeoff is money over my own choices. I have done this for 18 years now. Coincidently, I am also a full time caregiver. This job is demanding but more meaningful in all aspects. There has been a tradeoff there as well. This son would like to live on his own, however I don’t have the money to pay for 24/7 care, though I do have an amazing friend who has done this for her son. She works full time and her tradeoff is that she has the freedom in her own life which does not involve care giving, but all of her income pays for his independence. This is such an amazing gift and she is a strong person. Care giving has taken a huge toll on me, and being sleep deprived is the worst effect of those many years of care giving as it has affected my cognitive abilities and affected me physically as well. It has affected my work and my creative endeavors. For instance, this is the first blog I have posted in a year.  That is the tradeoff. I find it unusual that I have never seen a sleep study done to the effects of sleep deprivation from many years of care giving. I have read many sleep study reports. My son is active with an interesting life, gets out as often as he can to always be around others. His options are limited. We would all do anything for our kids, that they prosper in all ways, financially, physically, emotionally and socially, and not in any particular order. I think family has been the most important aspect of living at home, as visitors come often to see all of us. Some of my family has been so supportive as well. I am fortunate to have a wonderful family. As a woman, also a mom, I have learned about so many things like acceptance and forgiveness and gratitude. Most of all, I am humbled by the people I have met in life as everyone brings something to the table through their own experiences, My own experiences are worth sharing to help others. We all have tradeoffs and we all have something to share. Maybe we need to revisit our tradeoffs and continually tailor them to find us the balance in life we all need.