To Share or not to Share

 

            We have all had bad things happen to us, and sometimes we just do not know what to do with that information. I guess it depends partly whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. Some people can sit with information and come to some peace alone. Others need other people who will just listen and let the person talk. Maybe, some learn most by the reactions they get when they share. Perhaps, it is different if the news is about you or if it is about a family member. Either way, sometimes sharing information makes you vulnerable to unsolicited comments, or seemingly callous comments , and worse yet, to be disappointed because a friend you have know forever, just was not ready to bear the burden of your sharing. When husband and wife are in disagreement about how and what to share, it sure complicates a marriage. The bottom line is that love is at the core of all of this. Sometimes the people you thought might have been most supportive, just were not able to do it. That hurts sometimes, and sometimes causes anger and resentment. Looking back on the times I have shared, and there were many instances that I should not have shared, I have come to realize it is not about you. It is about the person who heard the information, and their comfort level with the information presented. It doesn’t mean they do not care about you, or that they do not love you. If you were shocked to hear the news you want to share, imagine how they felt when you shared? Sometimes, waiting may be a good idea, when you are ready to share, and keep the person’s best interests in mind, if it happens to be about a child’s illness or someone close to you. Also, it might be best not to be too specific about the name of a diagnosis, or the prognosis. People sometimes can pry for too much when we are vulnerable. I have seen people interviewed for television when they were clearly not ready emotionally, regarding an ill child. If I should be the recipient of your sharing, I promise I will try to be a good listener.

 

Reprint permission with author’s permission @ fiddlinsuz@roadrunner.com

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